Stay With Me
by HeyItsDarah
Summary: The war that plagued Panem was long over, President Snow had finally been defeated but the battle wounds might never heal for Katniss and Peeta. Having lost so many loved ones and going through so much they were left broken. But maybe together they can pick up the pieces.
1. Chapter 1: Up in the air

**A/N: Basically the story takes place at the end of Mockingjay when Katniss and Peeta are back in District 12. I was kinda disappointed by how rushed the ending was so here's how I imagined their relationship going since it couldn't have been easy. *the chapters switch from Katniss and Peeta's P.O.V. just to give you a better perspective of the story***

******Disclaimer: **I own an overly active imagination, not The Hunger Games

**Katniss' P.O.V.**

_Confused_

That's the one thing I'm sure of now a days. _Confused_. Peeta has been back in District 12 for a month already and I have no idea what to do. Part of me wants to barge into his home and collapse in his arms like I did before in the snow, when we first united for the tour. But that was a long time ago. Everything is different now and I'm lucky he stops flinching every time I get too close.

Since he's been back I've only talked to him a few short times.

The first being when he first arrived. Out of impulse I confronted him thinking we could finally become friends again. How naive I was. I know Peeta better than he knows himself at this point and so I knew exactly what he was thinking the minute he saw me from the look in his eyes.

_Confused. Scared. Maybe a little happy. Scared. _

All this shook my confidence in our relationship...or whatever you want to call us because I honestly did not know at that point. The other couple of times I saw him were when we accidentally ran into each other wandering about. District 12 isn't exactly big you know and with barely anyone living there it's bound to happen.

After our first encounter I decided the best way to approach the situation was to retreat. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't going back to my days glued to my living room chair. I just decided to avoid the number one thing I was most uncertain about...Peeta. At the same time though I knew this was the cowardly thing to do. The real Peeta would never, not in a million years, give up on me.

So when I wake up every night screaming from whatever new nightmare haunts my conscious I long for Peeta. For his strong arms wrapped around me, enveloping me with his warmth and protection. I miss him so much and it's about time I do something about it. I was - no, am the girl on fire - and that girl was strong and brave and fought for the one's she loved. I'm tired of giving up.

Now I'm sure of one more thing, there is no way in hell I'm giving up on the boy with the bread.


	2. Chapter 2: Darling, Everything's on Fire

** Peeta's P.O.V**

Life is hard.

I know it's a clique thing to say but that doesn't change the truthfulness behind those three words.

Being back in District 12 has triggered all sorts of memories; good and bad. The problem is figuring out which ones are real. And even more importantly, figuring out my true feelings. I still haven't decided whether having Katniss as a neighbor again is a good thing or a bad thing. Everything seems to lead back to her...

I know now what the capital did to me...with the tracker jackers. I know that they distorted all the memories they could get a hold of in attempt to turn me into a murderer and to hurt Katniss. All of this doesn't change the fact that I'm terrified of her. My fear for her isn't just made up of false images the capital planted but also of the affect she has on people in general. She has caused so much harm and yet she's caused a lot more good. I don't know what to think of her.

She's my destruction, my doom, she's the reason my family is dead, she's the reason the capital did this to me, so why do I not hate her with all my being? Maybe part of me still loves her. But then she used me as a weapon to win the hunger games, didn't she? Katniss never really loved me...I think.

Confused

That's what I am. I'm a monster just like her. I need to find myself again and undo what the capital did. Is Katniss the right person for this? I'll let you know when I find out.

**A/N: Sorry these two chapters were so short and crappy but don't worry we get into the actually story in the next chapter. It gets longer and better I promise! Thanks for reading :)**


	3. Chapter 3: It's time to stop running

**Katniss' P.O.V**

_I just need to clear my head _

I think to myself as I stand under the warm water of my shower. I quickly get out, dry off, braid my hair back into my signature braid, and put on a pair of jeans, a plain quarter sleeve light blue top, and my old hunting boots. Normally I would bring my bow and arrows but I'm not planning on doing any hunting today. I just need to go outside and think and I know just the place to do it.

I grab an apple on my way out the door. I close it behind me and start the long, well needed, walk ahead.

I pass by all the burnt down homes and rubbage that was once home for so many people. This is where I grew up. This is where so many grew up. This is where so many died.

_Guilt. _

That's what I feel. Because I know this is all my fault. I don't regret any of my decisions or fighting against Snow. But that doesn't mean I don't feel responsible for all those who died and suffered.

_Rue. Cinna. Maggs. Boggs. Finnick. Madge. Prim..._

Prim. I miss her more than anything. She has created the biggest whole in my heart and thinking about her death will just expand it. I can't do this to myself again. I can't go back to that dark place I was only a few months ago.

I finish my apple as I reach the fence. I don't even bother listening for the hum of electricity because I know it will never come to life. I wiggle under the fence like I've done a million times before. This is the only place where I feel at peace. The familiar sent of trees and life is comforting to me.

I walk involuntarily, not having a specific destination, just letting my mind wander to Peeta. Dreading my encounter with him and thinking about all the things I needed to say.

And then suddenly I didn't have any more time to prepare myself for the long awaited encounter because there, standing only a few feet away from me was the one, the only. Peeta Mellark.


	4. Chapter 4: Trust Me

******Disclaimer: **I own a sketch book that has too many blank pages, not The Hunger Games

**Peeta's P.O.V**

_I hear something coming towards me_

I instantly turn around to realize that _something _is actually a _someone_. And that someone is no other than Katniss Everdeen.

My instant reaction is to defend myself but I had to remember she was a...friend? I'm still not sure what she is but an enemy is no longer one of the words to describe her. I know that now.

She looks frightened at first but then quickly hides her emotions and smiles. She speaks first.

"Hi" _She hasn't spoken one word to me for weeks and all I get is hi?_

"Hey Katniss..." _Where is this even going_.

We both start talking at the same time but then stop realizing we both have a lot to say.

"You go first" I say.

She clears her throat and says, "Peeta look, I'm really sorry about avoiding you the last few weeks. I've just been really confused about...well...us and I just really want to start over and move on. You know, just as friends. I'm not asking anything more from you because I realize this must be hard but I need you to know that I really miss you. Okay, your turn. "

"Oh...um...thank you. I-I mean thanks for being honest with me. I'd really like to have a friend again. It's been kinda hard being back home without anyone else here. But I need a lot more help from you okay? Because I still need to figure out who I am, or was...I just need you to be patient with me and not run away every time you see me. Maybe I can help you too. "

"What exactly can you help me with?"

"I live right next door to you Katniss. Don't think I can't hear you screaming every night from whatever nightmares are haunting your dreams. And the crying..." I trail off because I can see she doesn't like to seem weak. That's the Katniss I know.

"Can we talk about something else please? Like why you're even out here in the first place." She says.

"I just needed to get out of the house and I ended up here somehow. If you hadn't shown up I'd probably have gotten lost."

She started laughing and I couldn't help but smile. She laughs like a serial killer. I love it. Once we both calmed down I look at her questioningly.

"Sorry it's just that's something the old Peeta would say. You were never good at survival skills. " She moves a bit closer. A little too close I step back and let out a nervous laugh.

"Well I hope you weren't planning on hunting. We both know I'm hopeless when it comes to being quiet. " I say.

That made her laugh again. After that things got less tense between us. We sat down on a boulder near by and just talked. I don't even remember what we talked about but it was nice. Even for just a little bit, we were both happy to feel human again. To not worry about the future and just let everything go. And we laughed a lot too. That was the best part, the laughing. Because it gave us hope. Maybe our lives have been hell for the last few years but now we can laugh, maybe we can even be happy. I finally realized being here, with Katniss, it's not so bad. I could have ended up a lot worse. Maybe even dead.

The sun started to set and that's when I started to get nervous again. Being in the woods at night brought back too many memories. I guess she sensed my fear because she stood up and lent me her hand. I lace my fingers with hers and we started walking back. I didn't let go of her hand until we reached Victors Village, it didn't feel romantic, it felt comfortable, familiar, good. Nobody said anything the whole way there, it was peaceful.

When we got to her door we both lingered there for a bit, not saying anything. But there was still something I needed to say.

"Katniss, look I'm really sorry about everything. I don't want to be the bad guy anymore, I want to be _me_. You're the only one who can help. I need you. " The words came out from somewhere I haven't seen in a long time.

She grabs my other hand so that we're facing each other and speaks.

"Okay but I need you to know that I'm not going to hurt you, ever. We are on the same team okay? You have to trust me."

"Okay," I respond

"Okay," She says back

I'm just now realizing how close we are and part of me want's to close the gap between us. And I'll tell you this, I almost did. But I knew it wasn't right. We are suppose to be friends so I pull away from our intimate embrace and quickly head down her front steps. I look back at her disappointed face and give her a consoling smile.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" I say

"I hope so" She replies


	5. Chapter 5: Memory Lane

******Disclaimer: **I own a map of the United States, not The Hunger Games

**Katniss' P.O.V.**

_Last night was the first time I actually got a good night's sleep. I could get use to this. _

Now I'm sitting in the middle of my closet surrounded by piles of clothes and not one thing is suitable for my date with Peeta.

Wait...did I just say date? Is this even a date? I'm pretty sure we almost kissed last night but I'm not good with these things.  
Oh god now I'm getting nervous. I AM SO BAD AT THESE KINDS OF THINGS.

_Calm down Katniss this is just lunch with two friends.  
Oh bull shit Peeta and I will never have a normal friendship. We've been through so much together. _

My mind is having the biggest civil war it's not even funny. I suppress all these strange thoughts and quickly pick out an oddly familiar yellow dress. I brush my hair and braid it back. I examine myself in the mirror and before I have time to change my mind I run down the stairs like a mad girl, shutting the door quickly behind me.

I get to Peeta's door and start biting my nails. I have no idea what's going to happen or what I even want to happen. I only have to knock once before Peeta opens the door and all my nerves melt away under the warmth of his smile.

**Peeta's P.O.V.**

The second I open my door I recognize the dress she's wearing.

_Did she do this on purpose? To bring back old feelings? _

No.

Katniss wouldn't do that. I don't think she would...but I definitely remember that dress. She wore it after we won our first hunger games. I loved the girl in that dress. She didn't love me back...

I ignore my mixed emotions and smile at her. She really is beautiful. Especially in that dress. I could stare at that face for hours until I've memorized every single feature. Every line, every curve, how my lips would fit with hers. Maybe it's just the old me thinking again. But do I let him take over all my thoughts? There's so much I have to figure out...

I didn't realize how long I was staring at her until she coughed uncomfortably. I invited her inside.

I lead her to the kitchen where I had all my supplies laid out. I told her to come over for lunch but I didn't tell her she would be helping me make it.

"Lamb stew is your favorite food. Real or not real?" I ask.

She grins at me and says "Real. Definitely real." I beam back at her.

Once we've added all the ingredients to the pot and let it sit I decided we should bake some bread. We soon discovered baking is not something she is skilled at. After a mere 5 minutes Katniss had flower all over the kitchen and even more in her hair. Between the laughing and the attempt at cleaning I finally let her take the apron off and just watch. She was so dirty from the flower that she decided to go take a quick shower. I had a lot of work to do anyways.

Once she came back out looking a lot cleaner and her hair was out of its braid, I had already finished making our meal: Lamb stew and dried plums with bread and cranberry sauce. We didn't feel like sitting at the kitchen table so we took our food to the back yard and just sat in the grass starring at the hills. It was the best meal I've had in a long time. Once we finished I took everything inside but Katniss didn't want to go in so I joined her in the grass.

We just sat there and talked and talked about anything and everything. We watched the birds fly above our heads, and the trees sway in the wind. Eventually we laid down in the grass so our heads were side by side, only inches a part. I started playing with her hair. It's so much different when it's down. It makes her even more beautiful.

"You pretended to love me in our first hunger games. Real or not real?" I asked knowing it would change the happy mood but I asked anyways. I just felt like I needed to. She took a deep breath and spoke,

"It's not that simple Peeta. At the time, yes, I was pretending. But I didn't realize how much I cared for you then. All I could think about was getting home to my family..."

Her eyes stared up at the sky, her head in another world. I thought she was done talking but she wasn't,

"I didn't realize that I really did have feelings for you. There were moments in the cave where I wish there had been no cameras, no viewers, just me and you. When we really kissed for the first time I got butterflies in my stomach. I didn't want to admit I was falling in love with you because I didn't think we'd both make it out alive." Her eyes were getting watery now.

I looked at her until she finally returned the gaze. I wiped the first tear away from her cheek with my thumb. We laid there for the longest time, not saying anything, just watching the sun as it slowly came down, changing the sky to beautiful colors of pink and yellow as it left us.


	6. Chapter 6: Home Sweet Home

******Disclaimer: **I own an ugly grandpa sweater, not The Hunger Games

**Katniss' P.O.V.**

Having Peeta back is the only good thing in my life right now.

It gets so lonely here. For the past week we've been spending almost every day together. Either cooking at his house (I've finally learned how to make lamb stew and I've been eating it every night!) or drinking at mine (I've still got Haymitch's wine stash) or walking in the woods. It's nice to actually DO something. We've even been thinking of training again. Not because we'll need it but to stay in shape and keep our minds off things.

_Someone's at the door. _

It must be Peeta. I run down the hallway and fling the door open only to see it's not Peeta...it's my mother.

xXx

We were now sitting awkwardly on the couch drinking tea. After putting a flanel on to cover my bare arms, now lined with goose bumps, I had her sit in the living room while I quickly put together a tray of crackers and tea. She explained to me that she had some time off of work and was flown in to see me. I don't know what to think.

Part of me wanted to hug her when I first saw her and part of me wanted to slap her for abandoning me. I know she's starring at me but I can't meet her gaze.

"You look good, Katniss. You have more meat on your bones!" she says followed by an awkward laugh

"Peeta's been teaching me how to cook." I respond without any emotion. I'm not in the chatty mood.

"You've been seeing Peeta then?"

"Yes. I mean no, no, not like _seeing _him jut _seeing_ him. I-you know what I mean." She doesn't deserve to know what my life is like.

"Katniss, look at me. _Please_." She says. I reluctantly turn to meet her huge blue begging eyes.

"Honey I'm so sorry about everything. I really am. It's just hard to be around you because you remind me so much of Prim and it's been so hard without her-".  
I cut her off before she could finish. "HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO ME! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO MISS HER! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO LET HER GO! YOU DIDN'T STOP HER AND NOW SHE'S DEAD!"

I'm sobbing now but I can't help it. How could she bring up Prim? I shouldn't have yelled at her. I was too harsh.

My mom pulled me into her arms and locked me in her warm embrace. I didn't have the energy to pull away so I let her comfort me while I sobbed into her shoulder. She brushed my hair with her fingers and said nothing. After a few minutes of this I pull away and wipe my eyes. She speaks first.

"You're right. I shouldn't have let her go. But she wouldn't listen to me. She wanted to help. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She's crying now and I couldn't help but feel bad for yelling at her. I hugged her this time which is a first. After a while she cooled down and went upstairs to take a shower. I forgot this used to be her house too.

I sat in the living room staring at the fireplace. There was nothing else to do until I heard another knock at the door.

It's Peeta this time and the second I open the door I hug him tightly. He doesn't say anything, he just hugs me back and I'm instantly happier. This has not been a good day. After a while he pulls away and I guess he can tell I was upset because he asks me what's wrong. I bring him over to the kitchen and tell him everything.

He helps me make dinner while my mom does some cleaning. We all sit down at the kitchen table and enjoy a delicious meal of lamb stew, green beans, strawberries, and of course, bread. I actually enjoyed myself and I don't think I would have if it wasn't for Peeta.

I owe him so much. Haymitch is right, I could live a hundred lifetimes and not deserve him.

xXx

My mom has been staying with me for the past week and I'm surprisingly sad that she's leaving.

I guess I didn't realize how much I missed her until I actually had her around, if that makes sense. Besides, it's nice to have the house clean for once. She has to leave this afternoon so Peeta and I invited Haymitch and Greasy Sae over for a goodbye lunch. Peeta is coming by earlier to help cook everything.

When I heard a knock at the door I opened it to find a very well dressed Peeta. He wore black jeans and a navy blue sweater and he even took the time to comb his hair. I'm not gonna lie, he looked really cute and when he opened his arms to invite me into a hug I quickly buried my face in his chest soaking in the familiar sent. We've gotten so used to each other in the past few weeks it's almost like the past never happened.

We spent the next hour making lamb stew with dried plums and blackberries. For dessert we made goat cheese and apple tarts. By "we" I mean Peeta because I'll be the first to admit I am a horrible cook. My mom set up the table and soon a surprisingly sober Haymitch arrived followed by good old Greasy Sae. We ate until our stomachs were full and laughed until our throats hurt. This was one of those meals you could never forgot. I've never seen my mom so happy and sad at the same time. Once Haymitch got drunk things got 10 times more entertaining. It was all fun and games until until he started prying subjects that are best left alone.

"So Katniss, you and Peeta, is it official yet? You guys seem attached to the hip nowadays. It's almost as if you never wanted to kill him back in the arena. Just be careful okay? You guys don't want to have any children. Oh but you would have the CUTEST babies!" he exclaimed while draping an arm over my shoulder. I quickly pulled away from him and felt my cheeks burn up. Peeta was suddenly very interested with his shoes, not allowing himself to look up. My mom let out an awkward cough and Greasy Sae was smirking at Peeta and I's reactions. After a few seconds of awkward silence Haymitch replied, "Oh don't worry sweetheart I was only joking! Loosen your corset, have a drink. They're free!"

"Maybe for you they are but _I_ had to pay for that you know!" I exclaim.

"Now Katniss don't be rude honey" my mom replied.

I rolled my eyes at her. Buttercup suddenly appeared and sat on my mothers lap. Haymitch finally got out of his laughing fit and acknowledged the cat.

"Isn't that your sisters old cat? Funny how that thing lived longer than her!" The minute he said it he knew it was definitely the WRONG thing to say because I quickly got up and slapped him across the face _hard _before someone could stop me.

"I've had it with you and your stupid comments! Maybe I had to put up with them when you were my mentor but I don't anymore! You're nothing but a stupid drunk so get out of my house!" I yelled at him while pushing him towards the door. My mom tried reasoning with me but it was Peeta who calmed me down. He pulled me away from Haymitch and took me into the backyard.

We sat on the steps of my porch not saying anything. He slowly rubbed circles into my back until I cooled off. After a while Peeta spoke.

"You should go apologize. He doesn't know what he's saying Katniss."

"I know...you're right." I stood up and made my way back inside. I found Haymitch sprawled across the couch sleeping so I poked the side of his cheek.

"Wake up!" I yelled into his ear. His eyes shot open and he rolled off the couch hitting the coffe table on his way down. I collapsed onto the ground laughing hysterically while clutching my stomach. Everyone looked at me like I was crazy but when I tried to stop laughing I would look at Haymitch's death glare and crack up again. Once I caught my breath I apologized in between giggles.

"You'll kill me one day sweetheart." Haymitch said but proceeded to hug me which is neither one of our things. After our awkward hug we drew our attention to the loud noise coming from outside indicating my moms helicopter had arrived.

xXx

I didn't let go of her until the very last second she had to leave.

"Don't worry I'll call every day. Try to keep the house clean for when I come visit again which will hopefully be soon okay love? Be careful Katniss. I love you!" My mom said through tears. She turned to Peeta and said "You've really grown into a fine young man." She quickly hugged him and said "Take care of her okay?" Peeta nodded and his eyes found mine.

I stood outside until I couldn't see the tiny aircraft anymore. I would have stayed longer but Peeta pulled me inside.

We spent the rest of the day with Haymitch playing stupid card games and pretending like everything was okay. Maybe we didn't need to pretend. After all, we are the victors of District 12.


	7. Chapter 7: Sparks

******Disclaimer: **I own a purple pillow pet, not The Hunger Games

**Peeta's P.O.V.**

"Katniss...slow...down!" I yelled through panted breaths.

"Maybe you should lay off the bread Peeta!" She yelled back but stopped to wait for me anyways. When I reached her I wrapped my arms around her waist from behind and whispered in her ear,

"You have poor people skills."

"Eww get off me! You're so sweaty and gross!" She yelled while fighting against my strong grip.

"Manners!" I yelled back but reluctantly loosened my grip.

"Come on, I know the perfect place to cool off." Katniss told me while grabbing hold of my hand even though I was really sweaty.

She pulled me deeper into the forest until it got so dense I started to cool off from the lack of sunlight. After a while we reached an opening and I saw a small lake. I instantly broke out into a grin, no longer afraid of the water after Katniss taught me how to swim in our second Hunger Games. I ran in forgetting I was fully clothed, letting the cold water fill my lungs. I came up for air to see Katniss sitting on the side of the lake grinning at me.

"Aren't you coming in?" I asked her.

"I don't really have on the appropriate clothes for swimming. Besides, I need to catch lunch."

And with that she grabbed her bow and arrow and walked away from the water. Turning around to give me a wave. She walked off and I couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed. I took my shirt, jeans, and shoes off and let them sit in the sun while I continued to swim around in the water. It was so quiet and peaceful. This was definitely one of the best days I've had since after the war.

After a while Katniss came back with a rabbit and some berries. When she saw that I was in nothing but my boxers she started blushing like crazy and I couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm sorry, is my incredibly hot body making you nervous?" I joked with her.

"Oh please, don't flatter yourself. And for gods sake put some clothes on!" She yelled blushing even more. She got a fire started but I wasn't quite ready to eat yet. So I snuck out behind her and lifted her up. I ran into the water before she could protest and she gave me the meanest glare she could muster.

"I really don't like you." She said,

"We both know that's a lie." I said. She rolled her eyes at me but loosened up after a while.

We fooled around in the water until Katniss insisted we get out to eat. I put my jeans on and gave her my dry shirt. She was too embarrassed to take her pants off so she remained dripping wet from the waist down. We found a nice dry patch of grass and ate our food there.

I saw her starring out at the water and could tell there was something she wasn't telling me.

"So are you going to tell me how you knew about this place?" I asked.

She took a deep breath and replied, "My dad use to take me out here when I was a kid. He taught me how to swim here. It was our secret place that no one knew about. And the last time I was here..." She trailed off not being able to finish her sentence.

"What is it?" I asked putting an arm around her waist, drawing her in closer to me.

"Last time I was here I thought I had lost you...for good." She turned to look at me and I could see the pain in her eyes.

"Well I'm here now." I say giving her a reassuring smile. She shook her head and said,

"Not in the way I want you to be."

"Well what way do you _want_ me to be?" I asked.

"Like this-" She leaned in and I didn't realize what was happening until her lips were pressed against mine. I instantly kissed back without a seconds thought. A million memories passed through my mind and they were all so real. For those few seconds I completely forgot about everything besides me and her. It was like nothing else even mattered because I was here, right now, kissing her, and she was so real. For those few seconds I had no doubt in my mind this was where I belong, with Katniss. I was kissing her and I felt sparks.

xXx

And then, in a moment, that feeling was gone and replaced with cold fear.

Her face transformed into a mutt like creature with bright red eyes and it started growling at me. Its mouth opened to reveal rows of sharp teeth, like a shark. When it stood up it was taller than the trees surrounding me. I quickly got to my feet and starting running. I ran so fast it felt like my heart would beat out of my chest. My lungs were burning and I was drenched in sweat. I couldn't stop though, or it would get me, _she _would get me. Then my legs gave out on me, reminding me how I really only have one good leg. Another result of being with her. The anger was building up inside me as I hopped over to a near by tree that would hopefully cover me. I leaned up against it and slowly slid down, the pain was overwhelming. I tried to cover myself with leaves and dirt but it wasn't working good. My hands were shaking too much.

Then I heard footsteps that had to belong to her, and they sounded close. I waited for the dog like growl but it never came. Instead I heard a voice calling my name,

"Peeta, Peeta please tell me what's going on! I can help you!" she said.

Did she think I was that dumb to fall into her little trap? I remained quiet, holding my breath as best I could. She was getting closer. I could see her out of the corner of my eye. She looked normal now. I could tell she had been crying and her hair was messed up from running. I wasn't falling for that innocent little girl act. My heart was pounding out of fear that she'd find me. I closed my eyes tightly not wanting to look at the monster. I can't believe I ever let myself get that close to her. Deep down I knew she was dangerous. I knew she was a monster.

All of a sudden a shadow towered over me. There was no where to run even if I could. I covered my ears and closed my eyes, refusing to look at it. I waited for the sharp claws to rip at my exposed skin but nothing happened. Instead I felt her kneel down next to me.

"Peeta, look at me. Please Peeta." she pleaded with me.

After a few seconds of silence I replied,

"Why should I trust you?"

"Because...because we grew up together. Because we've gone through so much in the last few years and some how managed to make it through alive when so many others didn't. Because you're the boy with the bread, who was willing to get in trouble to give a stupid girl you barely knew some food. Because you've always saved me and I've always saved you and that's how the story goes. Because out of all the horrible things that happened, everything I've gone through, I managed to find someone so good and pure and I'm thankful. Because you're the only person I knew was on my side no matter what. Because I know that boy is still there and I love him. I love him so much."

I looked up at her and let the words sink in. Did she really love me? I searched her eyes for the answer and I could tell she was telling the truth. I just knew it.

No one said anything for a long while. I didn't really know what to say and by the looks of it neither did she. We just sat there starring. I couldn't look away. Her gray eyes were mesmerizing. I suddenly felt a tear roll down my cheek. I didn't know where it came from. Or maybe I did. I've waited so long to hear those words. The words she could never say, or never wanted to admit. This time, it was real. This wasn't some delusion made by the capital. A smile crept up on my face from the very thought. She must think I'm a complete psychopath but that didn't matter. What mattered was I finally realized there was a truth and nobody could take it away from me. This was just one piece of the puzzle but at least I have someone to help me solve it.

Katniss looked a little confused and a lot tired. I reached my hand out to her and she hesitantly took it.

"I'm okay." I assured her.

"Good" she replied.

"Good" I said after pulling her to her feet.

"Let's go home Katniss."


	8. Chapter 8: Surprises

**Disclaimer: **I own an old school silver gameboy, not The Hunger Games

_*one month later*_

**Katniss' P.O.V**

After the day I kissed Peeta things changed between us. Don't get the wrong idea, we're not dating or anything, it's just that everything's different now. I know I can't rush things or spring all my feelings on him and kiss him and expect everything to be okay. I know better now. If I really want him, I have to be patient and take things slow.

So now, a month later, Peeta and I are _still_just friends and it's painstakingly difficult. After that day I was scared of a lot of things. Scared that I actually told Peeta how I feel. Scared of how he reacted when I kissed him. Scared of the thought that every time I get too close he'll turn on me. Maybe even scared that he might somehow feel the same way. And I guess he was scared too because he couldn't stop apologizing and avoided me for about a week. I knew we had to talk things over because we were ignoring the subject. We still hung out but our conversations were light, never venturing further than the weather or how the plants needed watering. It was all so frustrating and one day I couldn't take it any longer.

It was one of those days that you wake up motivated to do something for once and something is what I did. After throwing on jeans and a sweater I ran walked over to Peeta's house and banged on the door until he let me in. Normally I'd call first so he knew it was urgent. I did not however, expect to find him shirtless and I almost lost it. Somehow I managed to suppress all those rated R thoughts and compose myself. Once he managed to find a shirt we sat down at his kitchen table, across from one another, and began our semi-uncomfortable but completely necessary conversation.

"I just have a lot of questions," I began and after a few seconds of silence Peeta replied,

"I figured..."

I took a deep breath and began,

"Well to start, what happened? Why did you run away?" I waited for his response.

"I dont know...one second I was kissing you and I was so happy-" he paused to smile at me "-and the next I was terrified. You looked like...I don't really want to describe it. All I knew was I had to run. I had to run away." His eyes were watering and I could tell he had relived this scene millions of times in his head because he looked worn out. "It was worse than it's ever been before. Usually I can just block the bad images out but this time I couldn't control it. Like it was overpowering me to the point where it wasn't only bad images but bad thoughts as well. Like it had taken over my mind and I was scared. I was scared of you Katniss. And when I heard your voice and saw you the images were gone but the bad thoughts were still there. I'm sure they wouldn't have gone away if you hadn't told me what you did."

"So how do you feel now? Do you still have bad thoughts?" I asked.

"I don't have them right now but I still feel horrible. Like I'm not even human. There's something wrong with me Katniss and I hate it. I hate myself so much. More than you'll even know."

My heart broke with those last words. None of this was his fault. Peeta was always the good one, much more human than I ever was. He cared so much and to see him like this killed me. He doesn't deserve this, any of it. I don't see the justice in such a good guy becoming so broken because of other people's actions, especially my own. Even though Snow is dead he left permanent scars and now it's my job to fix it because I owe it to Peeta.

"Don't be so hard on yourself. You know this isn't your fault. Those feelings aren't real okay?"

"I know they aren't but they're still there and sometimes I can't remind myself that they're not real Katniss. Who knows what could happen. I could hurt you." He almost whispered that last part.

"I'm not afraid of you if that's what you're worried about"

"That's just part of it."

"Then what Peeta? What is it that you're so afraid of?" I started to raise my voice so I took a deep breath and let out a "sorry". I shouldn't be mad at him, if anything I should be comforting him because he needs me and Peeta would have done anything to help me. If the roles were switched, and I was the one taken by the capital, Peeta would do everything he could to make things better. He would never get mad at me. And he would never, ever give up. Now more than ever I longed for the old Peeta. I wish I had realized how much I loved him a lot sooner when the feeling was mutual.

"I just don't want to be afraid of you Katniss. I like the feeling I get when I'm around you. I like kissing you. I like the things you said to me by the tree. And I like the way your cheeks turn pink whenever I make you uncomfortable." He gave me a sincere look and my eyes started watering. What is wrong with me? Maybe it's because I never thought Peeta would think of me that way after seeing me for who I really am.

After holding his gaze for a few seconds I finally spoke up,

"So what are you saying?"

"What I'm saying is-" he leaned in closer to me and I did the same, wanting to catch his every word, "-maybe I'm tired of just being friends." We were so close by now I could see every feature of his face in high definition. We both started leaning in more if that was even possible until we both jumped, startled by a roaring knock at the door.

Peeta quickly got up to answer the door as I sat there wishing I had a gun so I could shoot the stranger and their oh-so-great-timing in the head.

I heard the door open, muffled noises, some shuffling, and then Peeta returned with, you guessed it, Haymitch._ Ofcourse_. I rolled my eyes as Haymitch plopped himself down at the head of the table as Peeta sat in his old seat.

We all sat there awkwardly for a few seconds until Haymitch asked,

"Am I interrupting something?"

_Yes!_

"No!" we both answered quickly. His sunken eyes darted between the two of us suspiciously and I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks which wasn't helping.

_Go away Haymitch_

"Alright I'll pretend I believe that because we need to talk." He said

_Okay what is he doing here and why do we need to talk?_

As if reading my mind Peeta asked,

"Not that we aren't happy to see you but why are you here Haymitch? You're not really one to chat."

_But I'm NOT happy to see him_

"Well if you want to be that way fine. Somebody wasn't home to answer her phone, Katniss, so your mother called me, and let me tell you all that ringing was not fun with my hangover, anyway she asked me to talk to the both of you. Your mother was going to tell you herself but I guess she was afraid of how you would react."

Suddenly interested I asked,

"Wait, I'm confused, my mother called and why would she be afraid of how I would react?"

"Ugh your mother called, you were at lover boys house, she called me instead and now I'm telling you what she said. Originally she was going to tell you herself but then she figured it might be better if I just broke it down to the both of you. Now to the point, basically they need you both back at the capital. There's been some rebel groups acting out, nothing major, just graffiti and small gatherings but it's still a threat and they need their mockingjay and her trusty stead. All you've gotta do is look pretty, sit in front of a camera with lover boy, answer a few questions for your good friend Caesar Flickerman, pretend like everything is perfect and how happy you are and how you guys might try for another kid, crack a joke about your mom, and your done. We just need to give the people some hope, and unify the country a bit. Things haven't been as smooth as we thought they would be and seeing the mockingjay in good condition again will make people feel better. Give them some confidence in Panem."

It took me a while to process all I had just heard. Rebel groups? The capital? Instability? Interview? Baby? It was all too much.

"I didn't even know there were rebel groups." I said

"Yeah we didn't think there would be either but I guess there are still a few lunatics supporting Snow. Idiots." Haymitch said.

"So I guess we don't really have a choice huh?" Peeta finally spoke up.

"Not really. But you'll be fine. Not that it's any comfort but I have to go too. I'm still your mentor you know and you guys really need one."

"I thought all this was over." I said quietly.

"It's never over, sweetheart."

**Sorry it took so long to update I was really busy with school and stuff. Thanks for being patient with me. Love you guys **


	9. Chapter 9: Train of confusion

******Disclaimer: **I own a "Keep Calm and DFTBA" poster, not The Hunger Games

**Katniss' P.O.V.**

Peeta and I anxiously waited for the train to come pick us up. This was all too familiar and going back to the capital will bring back all those memories I was trying to forget about. That place is a nightmare I'd rather not revisit but I don't have a choice in the matter do I? The thing I'm most worried about is Peeta. I can only imagine what's going on inside his head right now. Going back must be horrific for him. Ever since Haymitch told us we would be leaving in a few days he's been on edge. I've tried comforting him but all my efforts have failed. How can I calm him down when I'm terrified myself?

Sitting wasn't enough for my racing mind so I stood up and started pacing. I'm trying really hard not to bite my nails. God knows my stylists have enough work on their hands.

"Haymitch is late." I said

"I know."

"What could he possibly be doing that's more important than this? I'll kill him."

"No you won't." Peeta said.

I paced some more.

"Katniss sit down."

I looked at his pleading smile and obeyed. The second I sat down Peeta rested his arm on my lap, offering his hand and I gladly took it. This small gesture was significant to me. It means we're in this together. _Always. _I looked up into his blue eyes and for a moment all my worries melted away because I had Peeta to get me through this. He kissed the top of my head and the smile on my face grew even larger. I rested my head on his shoulder to hide my red cheeks. We sat in silence as we waited to see who would arrive first, Haymitch or the train?

The answer was Haymitch but the train was a close second. He arrived drunk, as usual, but not totally waisted for once. When the train arrived Haymitch quickly got on, no doubt making his way towards the free drinks, while I reluctantly followed with Peeta at my side.

When I stepped onto the cart I instantly noticed some drastic changes. The usual polished paneled walls and wood floors remained but other than that the cart was missing much of it's extravagance. The most drastic change was the lack of food. I scanned the room three times until I saw a small table in the corner of the room with a bowl of fruit and a tray of cookies. There was not one avox in sight either. There was only a couch and an arm chair in the room making the cart seem fairly empty. Haymitch was probably scouting out the drinks so Peeta and I were left alone.

I turned toward him and asked,

"Do you notice anything different?"

"Yeah, where is everything? Are we on the right train?" he said.

"I don't know but I'm going to find out. Come on. We need to find Haymitch" I grabbed hold of his hand and led him into the next cart which was identical to the first. As we ventured on down the train we came across a narrow hallway with doors leading into the sleeping quarters. Inside one of the rooms was a young avox boy, or so I thought. He had short, brown hair, dark eyes, and tanned skin. The boy was vacuuming when I approached him.

"Excuse me. I don't want to interrupt or anything but I wanted to know if you've seen a man walk by, long hair, thin, middle aged. If you could just point me in the right direction that'd be great."

He looked at my quizzically and said,

"Oh I think I saw a man walk by a few minutes ago. He went that way I think." The boy pointed to the right, the same direction we had come from. Great.

I was taken by surprise when he spoke. This boy wasn't an avox. In fact, he wasn't even wearing the standard red uniform they usually had on but instead he wore a plane white shirt and dark pants. I stared at the boy in confusion. Nothing was making sense and there's nothing more I hate than not knowing what's going on.

Peeta nudged my side, breaking me from my thoughts. He gave me one of those "Katniss you're being rude" looks and I realized how uncomfortable the boy looked. I guess I was starring at him too long.

"I'm sorry it's just that I thought you were an-"

"-avox?" He finished my sentence for me. "You really don't know what's been going on do you?"

"No I guess not."

"Well a lot's changed now that Paylor is president. They aren't cutting anyone's tongues off anymore, there are too many avoxes already. Not that I'm a criminal! They just started hiring people like me, who could use the money, to do the avoxes jobs. A lot of people don't have homes, or families, and we're all sort of stuck, in need of money. Many factories and fields have been destroyed you know. The good thing is they need a lot of workers to clean up the districts so those of us whose old jobs are no longer in business can still make money. I'm from district 4 but they've sent me to help work in the capital. Oh, that's another thing, they've stopped locking the borders to the districts! You're allowed to travel wherever you like as long as you carry around a card that states your name, home district, and purpose of travel. Isn't that great! There are so many new things happening I wish I could explain them all but I've got to get back to cleaning. If you need anything, food, water, blankets, just let me know! Sorry they've taken away a lot of the extra furniture and food from the trains. They really needed the extra supplies since there's been so many shortages on resources. My name's James by the way. It's an honor to meet you both!"

And with that, James slid past us and into the room across the hall, vacuum in hand. I stood there, jaw dropped, and speechless. Paylor was a rebel leader from District 8, I met her a few times and she seemed pretty tough, definitely a good leader but I didn't know just how good. I had about a million more questions that needed to be answered but I didn't want to bother my new friend. All these changes sounded really great actually and I wish I wasn't so isolated from all the action. I thought it would be nice to get away but now all I want to do is get involved. I looked towards Peeta who seemed pretty shocked as well.

"Wow" is all I could manage to say.

"We should really get out more." Peeta said, making me laugh. I grabbed hold of his hand again and pulled him in the direction James pointed us to.

"I think it's time we talk to Haymitch." I said

"I think you're right."

xXx

We half walked, half ran in the direction James pointed us in. We were both pretty energized by the wonderful news. When we got close to the cart we first came in we had calmed down a bit. Right before we walked in I caught a glimpse of Haymitch talking to...Effie? I stopped in my tracks and Peeta gave me a strange look. I lifted my finger to my lips and pointed at the window. They looked like they didn't want to be overheard so I naturally wanted to know what they were talking about. We got as close as we could to the door without setting off the sensors that would open it and strained our ears to hear their conversation.

"... convince them." Effie's voice was barely audible. _I got a little closer_.

"I know but they're not going to like the idea." Haymitch said. _Closer_.

"It doesn't matter whether they want to or not. It just has to be believable." _Too close_.

The doors opened revealing Peet and I, which startled both Haymitch and Effie. I let out a nervous laugh and slowly walked toward her. Peeta followed.

"Effie! What are you doing here?!" I said with an over exaggerated cheerfulness.

"We've missed you!" Peeta said. We both hugged her awkwardly.

"It's good to see you too. How much did you guys hear before you came in?" She asked after breaking the hug. She doesn't beat around the bush I'll tell you that.

"Not much." I crossed my arms over my chest and stared at her, eyebrows raised.

"We have a lot to talk about."

"Why don't you start with every single thing you've been keeping from us the past few months."

"Why don't we all sit down. This is going to take a while..."


	10. Chapter 10: Always

**Disclaimer: **I own a rubik's cube, not The Hunger Games

**Peeta's P.O.V.**

Effie sat us down and explained everything. Well, everything concerning our visit to the capital, and Katniss was not happy. Not happy at all. Effie said we would need to present ourselves like we always have; hopelessly in love, star crossed lovers. I guess people are still rooting for us. She wants us to pretend like our "marriage" is going well and to mention trying for another kid. All this wasn't really a surprise but what got Katniss so upset was that they wanted us to explain what happened back during the war. Mostly with me because people were suspicious as to why I said what I did in the interviews. They wanted to know what happened and Katniss wasn't willing to explain. When Effie told her Katniss stormed out of the room. I didn't understand what the big deal was. After searching every cart for her I finally found her outside, leaning against the train rails, starring off at the rolling green hills and the walls of trees surrounding us.

I stepped outside and leaned next to her. After a minute I spoke.

"Are you going to explain why you're so upset about all this? I mean are you really surprised?"

She didn't speak at first but after a while she answered,

"It's just not right." She turned to face me. "They have no right to know what happened. They were so excited to watch us die and now they just want another tragic story. It's hard enough pretending like we're in love when we're obviously not. I mean pretty soon they're going to expect to see our kids. How long do we have to keep this up? And on top of all that they want us to explain what happened? They don't deserve to know! They don't care about us! We're just their entertainment! I thought these games were over..." She trailed off and looked out in the distance.

"I think you're wrong. Not all the people in the capital are bad Katniss. They didn't know any better. They were raised to believe that these games were a normal thing. Now they know how wrong it was because you showed them that the people in the districts matter too. You showed them that we have families and hopes and dreams. You showed them just how much the games affect us. We started this whole war, which means it's our responsibility to finish it. We have to do this for Panem." I say.

She looked at me in awe. "I still don't understand how you always manage to see the good in people. You're really special, you know Peeta?" I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks, god this girl. She shook her head and spoke again,

"Even though you're probably right I still don't want to do it. I'm tired of pretending. I'm tired of all the lies. I don't want you to have to go through all that."She looked down at the moving ground.

"Hey," I said while lifting her chin up, forcing her to meet my gaze, "Who said anything about pretending?"

She gave me a confused look. "What do you mea-" Before she could finish I crashed my lips against hers. I already knew what she was trying to ask and words wouldn't give a suffice answer. I needed to show her, to prove to her that this isn't pretend. This is real. The kiss was slow, like time itself stopped just for us. Her lips were soft and inviting. We moved in sync, neither one of us wanting to pull away but eventually we had to. That's when I finally said what's been on my chest.

It took me a while to finally admit what I'd always known but didn't always realize. I said the words I was most afraid of, "I love you Katniss."

I starred into her eyes, wanting her to understand that I meant every word, and she got the message. I could tell from the smile plastered on her face. This time she leaned in to kiss me and I eagerly kissed back. She wrapped her arms around my neck while mine wrapped around her waist. Each kiss seemed to be even better than the first. I couldn't stop, and neither could she. It was like nothing else even mattered.

We stayed like that for a while. It was nice. Eventually we sat down and let our feet dangle off the side of the train. We talked a lot. We kissed a lot too. There was no barrier between us anymore, nothing holding us back. I wasn't afraid of her anymore. I finally listened to that little voice in the back of my head that kept trying to tell me, "She's not a monster. The capital is a monster. You love her Peeta. You always have." I listened and I knew it was the right thing to do because I've never been more happy, even if I am going back to the capital. I have Katniss.

When the sun started its slow descent out of the horizon I figured it was time we went inside before people started to worry. And by people I mean Effie. I got up and reached my hand out towards Katniss. She let me help her up and together we went back inside the train. Not long after we found Effie, worried as usual.

"Oh _there_ you two are! I've been looking everywhere for you! You're just in time for dinner." She led us into the dining room where we saw a table set up for us. There were steamed vegetables, berries, a variety of breads, some sort of chicken with red sauce on top, and of course, lamb stew. Katniss' eyes lit up, making me smile. We all sat down and began eating.

"Now _where_ are all the boos?" Haymitch complained. "Can't a guy get a drink?"

Effie rolled her eyes and said, "Come on Haymitch, manners! We're having a nice dinner and you're going to ruin it with your unhealthy addiction!"

"But I-" he started to say.

"No buts! And get your elbows off the table!"

This went on throughout the whole dinner. It got kind of tiresome. After we ate all four of us sat in the next cart, which had a couple of couches. Katniss rested her head on my shoulder as Effie went on about tomorrow's preparations. After 20 minutes of this Katniss was out cold. I gently lifted her up and carried her into the nearest guest room without saying a word. I laid her down on the bed and tucked her in. I didn't bother changing her clothes because I didn't want to wake her. I gently kissed her forehead and slowly backed out of the room. I was almost to the door when I heard her call my name,

"Peeta?"

"Yeah Katniss." I took a few steps back, so I was at the foot of the bed.

"_Stay with me_?" She whispered. Memories flashed through my head, as if someone pressed rewind. The rainy day I found her outside the bakery, her singing to the class, all the years of me liking her and her never paying attention, the reaping when her name was called, then mine, our handshake, her finally noticing me, the train ride to the capital, us holding hands while engulfed in flames, on the roof, in the arena, the kisses in the cave, the berries, the months of silence between us, the second trip back to the capital, the nights in the train, the picnic on the roof, the new arena, the beach, the pearl, waking up in the capital, the months of torture, the horrific images, me strangling her in District 13, the war, and then back where it all started, District 12.

"_Always_" I whispered back because that's how long I've loved her, and that's how long I will love her, and that's how it's _always_ been.

I climbed into bed and wrapped my arms around her.

She turned to face me and rested her head on my chest, her arm draped across my stomach. A smile plastered on my face. I couldn't help it. This is where I was meant to be.

Before she went back to sleep she asked,

"Do you think everything will be okay?"

I looked at her, still smiling.

"Of course it will." I said.

She didn't look so convinced.

"Katniss, you're the girl on fire. You're brave, you stand for what's right, people love you. Snow's dead, no body can hurt you now." I say.

"How do you know there aren't other enemies? How do you know we won't go back to becoming the same country we were before?" She asks and I can tell she's really worried about this.

"Because we have leaders like you to keep this country in line. We'll show them reason. Plus, you've got me to protect you."

"You can always throw a sac of flour at them." She joked.

"That's true." We laughed.

After we calmed down she said,

"I'm really tired."

"Then go to sleep." I replied.

She yawned out an "Okaaayyyyy"

I kissed her forehead again.

"Goodnight." I whispered.

She kissed the corner of my lips,

"Goodnight." She said back.

Within seconds she was back to sleep. Shortly after I fell asleep too, the exciting day finally catching up to me, my racing thoughts quieted by the draining day.

The last thought I had before I drifted into the unconscious was that one word,

_Always_


	11. Chapter 11: Too Soon

**Disclaimer: **I own a kaleidoscope, not The Hunger Games

**Katniss' P.O.V.**

"_Pleassseee_ let me look!" I begged Octavia but she wouldn't give in.

"Hold still or I'll mess up your eyeshadow!" She replied.

I let out a sigh and surrendered. My dress for the interview laid on my bed, covered and untouched. Ever since I heard Cinna designed it I've been dying to see the masterpiece he created. My heart panged at the thought of him but at least I have the next best thing; Flavius, Octavia, and Vienna.

So after my stylists so kindly got me to beauty base zero (a process I was all to familiar with, and not at all happy about) Octavia worked on my makeup as Flavius worked on Peeta in the room next door. And as for Vienna, I honestly have no idea where she went off to, something about shoes.

Our train arrived in the Capitol a couple days ago. Surprisingly, nobody bothered to prep Peeta and I for the interview until today. I wasn't a huge fan of the President's Mansion, even if it belonged to Paylor now. So Peeta and I spent our time on the roof, like old times. After he told me how he felt we've had some kind of invisible bond, like a magnet pulling us together. He rarely left my thoughts, and that scared me a bit.

My mind wandered off as Octavia worked diligently. After what seemed liked hours of painting my face and fixing my hair, she led me over to the bed and oh so slowly unzipped the black bag which contained the masterpiece. All I saw was a blast of light blue before she pulled out the dress and helped me into it, not wanting me to see the dress until I actually had it on. Once I was zipped up she led me over to a full length mirror situated in the bathroom.

I slowly walked towards the mirror until I was standing only a few feet away from my reflection. I gasped.

The dress was truly beautiful. It cut off right above me knees. The top part was strapless, hugging my torso, and the material was a pale blueish color that sparkled as I moved. As the material got closer to the bottom of the dress it shifted from sparkles to a feathery-like material. As I twirled the feathers spread out around me, like a ballerina.

As I stared at my reflexion some more I admired Octavia's work. My eyes had a smoky, blue look, which made my gray eyes pop out. Black eyeliner framed my eyes and winged out in the corners. My lips were a light rose color and Octavia didn't bother to put blush on because I do enough of that naturally. My hair was straight, but not stringy. It looked polished and clean. Half of it was pulled up and braided in the back.

I am not pretty. I am not beautiful. I am as radiant as the sun.

I turned around to face Octavia who was looking at me in awe. I smiled back at her and pulled her into a hug. When we broke apart Flavius and Vienna came in. After oohing and awing at me they forced me into a pair of sparkly white heals. Luckily, they weren't too high so I could manage walking without making a fool of myself.

Too soon we were walking down the hall, towards the elevator. My heart was thumping as I realized what exactly I was about to do. I would have to explain myself to Panem and tell them about everything that happened during and after the war. I've barely come to terms with it myself and now I have to relive it in front of the whole country. I'd have to tell them about Peeta. _Peeta_. I wonder where he is now. Is he nervous? He usually isn't. Normally I depend on his charm for these interviews but Peeta isn't the same person as before. I honestly don't know how he'll act but I'm really hoping I won't have to do all the talking. I was never the best at those kinds of things.

Too soon the doors opened and I was led towards the stage where the interview would take place. Haymitch, Effie, and Peeta were already there. The second I came into view Peeta's eyes met mine. The way he looked at me sent shivers down my spine. Soon everyone's eyes were on me and I had to look away.

Too soon Effie and Haymitch were giving us last minute tips on all the "do's" and "dont's" and how to act and what to talk about and every possible thing they could think of to help us. My heart was pounding in my chest, too fast. I could feel every thump as my heart busily pumped blood throughout every inch of my body. Too loud. Could anyone else here it?

Too soon Peeta grabbed my hand and walked with me towards the entrance to the stage. I could already hear the sea of people cheering as Caesar Flickerman warmed them up with some witty joke.

Too soon I hear my name.

Too soon I was bombarded with lights and cheers and shouts and people. People everywhere.

_Is it humanly possible for my heart to beat this fast? _

**Sorry it took so long to update. School started so I've been kinda busy. And sorry this chapter is so short. The next one should be pretty exciting. Thanks again for reading!**


	12. Chapter 12: What Happened?

**Disclaimer**: I own the burt's bees chap stick sitting in my pocket, not The Hunger Games

The only thing I could make sense of through all this chaos was Peeta's hand, strongly guiding me towards wherever it was we needed to go. He pulled me down with him onto a plush red couch, protectively wrapping an arm around my shoulders. All of a sudden the constant buzz of noise ceased. I lifted my head to the sea of people, all eyes were on me. I turned my head towards an amused Caesar Flickerman. I just now noticed his bubble gum hair and matching pink suit. He gave me an expectant look.

"I'm sorry, am I missing something?" I asked. Caesar chuckled at my confusion.

"You haven't changed a bit." He shook his head. "I said you're looking very pretty, as always. You've really grown up over the past few years."I blushed at the compliment.

"Thank you. I really like your hair by the way. Pink suits you."

Peeta interrupted "Alright that's enough flirting you two!" My eyes widened in shock.

"You've got to be kidding me! You're threatened by_ Caesar Flickerman_? He could be my dad!" I held back laughter.

"Hey, I'm not that old!" Caesar argued. "Besides, I have better pick up lines than that if I'm interested in someone."

Peeta and I simultaneously raised our eyebrows.

"Okay like what?" Peeta asked.

Caesar thought for a moment and then spoke, looking directly at Peeta. "Baby, you're the next contestant in the game of love." As if some one pressed play on a soundtrack, the whole audience erupted with noise.

"That's bad. Like really bad." I said in between fits of laughter.

"I've got one." Peeta spoke up. I turned towards him. "Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to walk by again?" He looked at me longingly while I was practically crying. _What happened to the shy awkward Peeta I know and love?_

"Katniss, you're turn!" Caesar said. I shook my head 'no' but the audience started chanting my name. Did I even have a choice?

"Ugh fine. This is the only one I know." I sighed. "Do you have a bandaid? I scraped my knee falling for you." I glanced over at Peeta who had nearly fallen out of his chair. I buried my face in my hands as I let my laughter die down.

Eventually the room got quiet again, with an occasional giggle here and there. Caesar straightened out his tie, as if getting down to buisnes.

"So where have you guys been the past few months?"

This question I could have answered easily but Peeta beat me to it.

"After the war Katniss moved back to District 12 and so I joined her. We haven't really done much, we're kind of isolated there. Our only neighbor is Haymitch and maybe a couple other people. It's actually a really weird situation. But I guess there's a lot more work to do. Maybe we can rebuild some of the homes, get some people back there. I mean, our kids are going to need some friends!" Peeta took a second to glance at me. I had no idea he had given it much thought, but I guess I was wondering the same thing. Our kids needed a town to grow up in.

Caesar smiled at me. "So you guys are expecting another baby?!" I quickly shook my head.

"Not yet. I mean I'm not pregnant Caesar. What would my mother say? We still have a lot to figure out but hopefully...in the future...you know, we'll be able to settle down and..." I shyly looked at Peeta. He took my hand in his, as if to reassure me I said the right thing.

"You guys are so cute." Caesar sighed. "I don't want to push things or anything but I think we all would like to know what exactly happened? We don't know much about the war but if you don't want to answer it's okay."

And here's the question we've all been waiting for. What happened? I tried coming up with some sort of answer but my thoughts couldn't form the words. My brain was working a thousand miles a minute, what could I possibly say to a room full of strangers? What could I possibly say to all of Panem? Peeta always knew the right thing to say... As if on que, he spoke up for the both of us. Maybe he hasn't changed that much after all.

"Well a lot's happened over the past couple of years. I think that could be said for everyone. But I guess it all started with the berries. I didn't know it at first but apparently Snow saw it as an act of rebellion, and it sparked a revolution. It was bound to happen eventually, things were never good for people in the Districts, especially District 12. My second time in the arena, things got tense. Rebel groups were growing larger and their leaders were hidden in the capital. A few of them were in our career pack during the games. One of them managed to break the force field that kept us trapped in the game. Katniss got out but...I didn't. I don't want to go into much detail but the Capital tried turning me into a weapon. Rewiring my brain, altering my memories so that I hated Katniss. They wanted to use me to get to her because they know how much I mean to her. It almost worked, but not quite. Katniss was hiding in District 13 and then managed to break me out of the Capital. Things were bad at first. I wasn't myself. But I was sent to the Capital anyways along with Katniss' group during the end of the war and I was there when Snow went down. Afterwards, they didn't know what to do with me. After a few months under supervision the doctors said I was stable enough to move back to District 12 and I've been there ever since. It hasn't been easy, but Katniss helped me find myself again. True love does conquer all."

The crowd was silent. Soaking in all this information. I had no idea he would say that much, but now I realize how important it was for people to know the truth. They're always kept in the dark. If things were to change, we needed to be open with them. So I guess I needed to speak up too.

"Being in District 13 was hard." I started. "Possibly the hardest thing I've ever been through was seeing the person I love so hurt and I couldn't do anything about it. I felt helpless, I felt useless, I felt weak. Snow is good, really good. I almost broke, but instead of feeling sorry for myself I chose to make things right. I made it to the capital, I watched my friends die, my _sister_ die. I nearly lost it. My only request was to kill Snow. Right before the execution, the soon to be president, Coin, called a meeting for all the remaining victors. She wanted to vote on whether or not we have one last Hunger Games for the children of politicians. That's when I knew what I had to do. I had to kill her because all the people who died, the whole war would have been for nothing if we went back to the way it was before. So I shot her, and Snow died too. It all worked out in the end. I was in a really dark place after that, alone in District 12. But Peeta came back and by some miracle we've managed to fix things between us."

I took a deep breath. I said more than I'd ever thought of saying, but it needed to be done. These people deserved to know that happy endings aren't impossible. It started with a few people, but slowly people started lifting three fingers to their lips and raising their left hand up at us. _It means thank you, it means admiration, it means good-bye to a loved one_. I mimicked their action and Peeta followed. After lowering my fingers I spoke one last time.

"We've all been through a lot this past year. We've all lost loved one's. I admire every single one of you for your bravery. It's not easy for any one of us but if I've learned anything it's that we can't let the grief win. You have to be strong and you have to try to be okay about it or you'll never get better. I'm confident that Panem will be okay. We've got a great President to help us. And I'll always be around to kick some ass if you need me."

Caesar had tears in his eyes but tried to pull it together for the camera.

"I'm afraid that's all the time we have today folks. Thank you Katniss and Peeta, for coming out here today. Hopefully we'll see you guys soon. Good night Panem!"

He finished and the camera's turned off.


End file.
